A smart man

“Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving” -Albert Einstein

My bike riding buddy!

Some very close to me know what has been going on the past two and a half weeks. For those people I am very thankful for them allowing me to lean on them and for the jokes they told to help me fight back the tears. Today I can’t seem to fight them back. We spend our lives as Americans collecting and amassing things that are sentimental and hold some trivial importance to us. I have moved half way around the world and all the way across the country and back and those trivial things have made those trips with me. Today I learned that all of those things are gone. I am sure that they were discarded as a means of being spiteful and hurting me. Only hurt people try to hurt people.

So what are some of the things I lost?

• An irreplaceable set of plates from my great grandmother.
• A baseball card collection that I started at age 5.
• All of my childhood photos and photo albums from life.
• A machete, a gift from a poor family in the DR to say thanks.
• A snowboard that I loved dearly.
• My grand father’s old toy chest.
• Hundreds and hundreds of dollars worth of art supplies.

So what did I gain from this?

            A sense that without these items the memories will still remain. I will never forget kissing the blarney stone for the first time, the way the Cruise America camper struggled to get us to the Grand Canyon, the way Brooke looked on the day she was born, the summer of the hammer pants and boat shoes, the look of my dad’s face as it was in the first photo of him holding me. Without material items the load we have to bear is much less. I can sleep at night knowing that losing things doesn’t hurt; don’t get me wrong- it was hurtful and upsetting to realize that someone would try to hurt you so badly. I laughed when talking to someone yesterday about going to pick up my shit, and he reminded me that it is in fact just that: shit. If all of that was in my basement and the house was on fire I wouldn’t have made it down there to save it anyway. I would have grabbed what is most important to me (Loki) and got the fuck out. I got out. Scathed a bit, but out.

So back to the smart man and riding bicycles:

I remember riding my bicycle as a child. I remember my father cheering feverishly as I peddled as hard as my four year old legs could to keep it moving without the training wheels. I was lucky. I had a father who knew how to trick me and help me build the confidence to give it a try. I was even luckier that we had a slight hill in the yard with grass short enough and soft enough to protect me from any real harm. My first attempt at riding the little red BMX bike without the training wheels: SUCCESS! From that very moment on the feeling of wind in my hair has reminded me that I am free. I am free to keep moving in any direction that I wish. One summer this required the little white motorcycle to remind me that I can do anything I put my mind to. I am not afraid- a little shy and very private- but not afraid of what tomorrow may bring. So if life really is like riding a bicycle I am just going to keep on moving (knowing that my people will be there should I hit a sandy patch). 

Shit is just relative; I believe Einstein had some small theory about relativity too.